Tatlas
by SassyJ
Summary: Malachi Ben-Gidon has joined NCIS as the Mossad Liaison Officer, and has settled into a relationship with Abby. Tony and McGee try various tricks to find out where and what Malachi's tattoo is.
1. Chapter 1

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Not now, Probie." Tony yanked on the door handle and almost fell from the car. "We survived." He shot an evil glare across the roof of the car at the calm, unruffled MOSSAD Agent exiting the driver's door. "No thanks to Ben-Gidon over there."

Malachi smiled, totally unperturbed by Tony's glare. "We are here, and it was quick."

"There's quick... and there's... who in hell taught you to drive anyway." Tony headed towards the house. "On second thoughts... don't answer that... you and Ziva being cousins, I can guess."

Malachi shrugged, still smirking. Earning him more glares from Tony and McGee who was looking distinctly uncomfortable.

Tony turned back "Today, Probies..."

A puzzled frown crossed Malachi's face. "Probies? What is probies?"

"Us, Malachi... us." McGee reached into his bag for his camera.

"The scene, gentlemen. When you're ready." The palm bounced off the back of Tony's head.

"OW..." Tony looked suitably chastened.

"Tony sketches and measurements; McGee and Malachi, photograph everything. You know what to do?" Gibbs turned to the Mossad agent.

"I have seen CSI."

Gibbs slapped a small pile of crime scene identifiers into Malachi's hand, "photos of everything in the kitchen and the two back bedrooms, number them all. Ziva will bag and tag when she's finished with the interview."

Gibbs turned. Even from fifteen feet away, he could read her body language. Mrs Charles Howard was weeping. Ziva was not comfortable with weeping women.

"So where and what do you think it is?" Tony sidled up to McGee.

"Tony, I have no idea."

"A heart on his bicep."

"Unlikely. That's a bit obvious."

"A rose on his ass."

McGee put his head on one side and considered the Israeli, whom he could just see through the doorway. "I don't think he's the rose type. Not flowers... more likely crossed Uzis."

"Are you two still going on about that?"

Tony turned round. "It's need to know..." he said loftily, "and we need to know."

"He's your cousin, Ziva, surely you know?" McGee couldn't help joining in.

"No, I don't..." Ziva smiled with a certain level of satisfaction, "and I am not going to ask... that is between Malachi and Abby."

"Ross has a book going." McGee muttered.

"I know I have twenty dollars on a heart and a rose on his butt."

A palm bounced off the back of Tony's head. "That's not it, sketches?"

"Yes, boss."

Gibbs smiled.

...ooo0ooo...

"You know they are running a book on where and what Malachi's tattoo is."

Abby took the bags from Ziva. "I know. I thought Tony's trick with the coffee mug yesterday was quite inspired."

"Getting Malachi to change his shirt in the office." Ziva nodded. "So...?

"So, it's Malachi's secret." Abby grinned. "And this is too much fun."


	2. Chapter 2

"I have been soaked in coffee... twice!" Malachi rolled onto his side, and gently traced a finger down his lover's body, Abby giggled and squirmed in delight.

"It is not funny." He tried the serious face.

"They're desperate to know, it is kinda funny, really." She turned on her side to face him, her hand running down his body, her index finger tracing a slow pattern. "So... we keep them guessing a little while longer," she bent to plant a kiss on the spot her finger had traced. "Besides, I like it _that_ is just for me."

Malachi's hands urged her back level with him. "But I am running out of shirts." He pulled a pathetic face, Abby grinned and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Then we'll just have to buy more." She gasped a little, as Malachi grinned, bent his head to press his lips to hers and proceeded to show his love exactly how much he loved her.

...ooo0ooo...

McGee stared at the piece of paper in front of him. Two outlines of a man, one labelled 'front' and the other 'back'. "Make an X on the spot and put your initials next to it, then write what you think it is on the back." Tony muttered.

McGee looked at the paper. There were several crosses and initials on it already. Most of them congregated around the obvious places. McGee sighed and narrowed his eyes in thought. Finally making his X. "There." He looked at Tony with confidence.

"Cough up, McGeek" Tony made the universal come-on gesture with his hand. McGee dug in his wallet for the required notes. "Twenty bucks."

McGee handed over the cash. "We need to know."

"I know. I'm working on it."

...ooo0ooo...

The elevator doors slid open and Ziva looked up. Tony and McGee exited in a hurry. Tony flapped a hand in front of his face and McGee was nearly scarlet from apparently holding his breath.

"Where's Malachi?"

"Oh... he's coming..." Tony almost choked.

Curious, Ziva went to have a look.

"Oh my... what is that smell?"

Malachi moved very slowly out of the elevator. He was wet through. His suit was bedraggled and dripping, and covered in strange greenish stains. He limped very slowly and stiffly to his desk and burrowed underneath it for his rucksack.

"That smell, Zee-Vah, would be either the pond or the muck heap." Now he was not closeted with his victim in the elevator, Tony was fully prepared to enjoy the situation. "He fell in both of them."

"I did not fall, I was pushed." Malachi looked down at his dripping and filthy clothes. "And now I am going to have a shower and change." He moved towards the elevator again carrying his bag.

"McGee..."

"On it..."


	3. Chapter 3

Camera at the ready, McGee crept forward cautiously. He could hear the sound of the shower running, and steam was billowing out of one of the cubicles. The Israeli's soaked and smelly clothing was abandoned in a pile on the bench opposite.

Quietly McGee checked the shutter setting and moved up closer.

Steam, lots of soapy lather, McGee's finger convulsed on the shutter button... as something black and menacing hove into view. McGee's eyes rapidly re-focused on the Glock in Malachi's hand.

The Mossad agent put his head on one side, and made a small gesture with the weapon. McGee gulped and blinked rapidly a couple of times. Malachi's smile was somewhere between amusement and menace, but the eyes had a strange look of distant mayhem in them that McGee was not about to test. Confused, he retreated.

...ooo0ooo...

"Probie... these suck!" DiNozzo flicked backwards and forwards through the blurred pictures. "That might be something..." he pointed to a shadow on the screen, "but that? I can't even tell if that's human!"

"He had a gun." McGee almost squeaked. "It was hot and steamy in there, the lens steamed up."

"He wasn't going to shoot you."

"How do you know that? It wasn't exactly soap on a rope he was waving around!"

Tony scowled at the screen. "We have precisely nothing, and time's up tomorrow."

McGee sighed in frustration. Somehow this had become a matter of male pride. Ziva was laughing at them, even Gibbs was finding it hard to contain his amusement.

Tony squinted at the shadow again, it was definitely some sort of pattern. "Couldn't you just..."

"Malachi's right arm might be damaged, but he's learned to aim really quickly with his left... I wasn't about to test his firing skills... Okay!" McGee's feathers sounded well and truly ruffled.

...ooo0ooo...

"You aimed a gun at McGee!" Abby looked shocked and then annoyed. "Malachi...!"

"It was not loaded." Malachi did his best to appear suitably contrite.

"McGee didn't know that..." Abby huffed crossly.

Malachi could sense her weakening. "I would never hurt McGee... and he was spying on me in the shower."

Abby thumped his left shoulder with her fist. "That is not an excuse."

"I know..." Malachi produced the roses from behind his back with a flourish, "forgive me..." he smiled at her, his eyes pleading.

Abby looked partly mollified. "You know I do..." she thumped his shoulder again. "Why I do, when you were mean to Tim, is beyond me."

Malachi moved in; that was his Abby, even cross with him she avoided causing him pain. Even as she was frowning at him, her hand was gently caressing his damaged shoulder.

Malachi had just about accepted that his front line days were over. His liaison job was Eli David's way of telling him that his injury had permanently removed him from hazardous duty.

"So they're still after the tattoo then?" Abby's lips twitched.

"Yes."

"And they still don't have a clue, do they?"

"No." Malachi thought about it, "except perhaps Gibbs... he knows you so well."

Abby twinkled.

"So tomorrow is the day..."


	4. Chapter 4

McGee rotated the image, and attempted to enhance it. _What the hell is that?_

It could be absolutely anything. "What _is_ that McGeek?" Tony slithered up behind him.

"Dunno..." McGee turned the picture this way and that, "I can't even tell what part of his anatomy _that's_ on."

"Are you two _still_ trying to work it out?" Gibbs grinned as he headed for his desk. "On second thoughts..." he backtracked. "Give me that paper."

Tony dug the paper out of his pocket reluctantly. Gibbs made a mark on the front, flipped it over and scribbled something on the back.

Tony stared as Gibbs dug twenty out of his wallet.

"Thanks, boss..." Tony stared at what Gibbs had written and squinted at the screen. "Oh... yeah..."

He stared at the screen again. Closed one eye. Squinted... "Uh... boss... how did you... er..."

"Know?" Gibbs smiled, and held out his hand. "Well, that would be telling, DiNozzo."

Tony handed over the money.

...ooo0ooo...

"Pull back, and again... twist to the left... freeze... and pull out."

McGee tapped twice. And the picture rearranged itself. McGee stared at the image, then what Gibbs had written on the paper.

"How... who..." he trailed off, scratching his head.

"I have no idea." Tony sighed "Two hundred bucks."

"Left hip..." McGee waved a finger at the screen. "It's logical if you think about it."

"I know..."

"We didn't think about it."

"Two hundred bucks."

They stared at each other in disbelief.

...ooo0ooo...

Abby dropped her robe and slid into the shower, to join her lover. They slid into each other's arms, and kissed enthusiastically. As Abby traced her finger over the hippo and bat design on Malachi's left hip.

"Gibbs won." Abby put her head on one side, "you wouldn't have had anything to do with that?"

Malachi looked down at her, his hand working its way into her long black hair, washing the soap out, and smiled. "Your Gibbs is just a really good guesser."

Abby grinned back. "Awesome."

Malachi hauled her up against him. "Yes, you are."


End file.
